interview

Here's the text of our "talk" and then my attempt at coding, memoing, and theorizing.

Barbara Yalof 6:41 PM 7/19/11 Barry, I start yesterday. I have done nothing. So unusual for me, but I haven't started the course. I rad Spears paper on the ride home Barry 6:42 PM That's OK... Assignments 1 and 2 can be done in a day easily! Barbara Yalof 6:42 PM thanks Barry 6:42 PM His diss?? Barbara Yalof 6:42 PM great yes Barry 6:42 PM Ah! was it good? Barbara Yalof 6:42 PM crazy, Barry,but it related 100% to our trip out there about changing paradigms shall Isend it to you or do you have it? Barry 6:43 PM Interesting!! Please send... don't have it. Thanks. Barbara Yalof 6:43 PM It really got to me. Husband was offered a job in Orange County, California and the dissertation is all about change Barry 6:44 PM Wow!!! Orange Co. is lovely. Where? Will you move?? Barbara Yalof 6:44 PM Barry, its so much an income hit big hit Barry 6:45 PM Yes, OC is *VERY* expensive. Barbara Yalof 6:45 PM beautiful Barry 6:45 PM I'm so envious. Barbara Yalof 6:45 PM but the thought of taking out a mortgage... at our age... when we still support our kids is untenable Barry 6:45 PM Definitely tough. No question there. Barbara Yalof 6:46 PM our friend's house is a million what courld we do rent? big decision Barry 6:46 PM We sold ours in 2004 for 600K or so. Rent a 1-2 bedroom apt. Barbara Yalof 6:46 PM and now do you rent or what? Barry 6:46 PM Own. But a mortgage here is WAY cheaper than one in Calif. Barbara Yalof 6:47 PM hmm..you are telling me you sold and re-bought? Barry 6:47 PM sold the house in calif and moved to PA and re-bought. Barbara Yalof 6:47 PM If we sold ours for 560 here, it would be 1,400.000 there Barry 6:48 PM or more! Barbara Yalof 6:48 PM where in california were you ? Barry 6:48 PM We lived in the Inland Empire -- Claremont and Upland. Barbara Yalof 6:48 PM dunno that Barry 6:48 PM about 3-4 hours east of LA Barbara Yalof 6:49 PM but he has a solid job offer Barry 6:49 PM Congrats to him! Barbara Yalof 6:49 PM would not want to live inland he won't take it. Unless we rent an aprtment there. which i am so not ready to do how much are rents do tyou think? Barry 6:50 PM No idea but I'm sure that they are expensive. Barbara Yalof 6:50 PM why did u move? Barry 6:50 PM Another option is he goes and you stay. We moved back to PA in 2004 when I lost my job in Calif. Barbara Yalof 6:50 PM ah crap no we cna't afford that Barry 6:50 PM understood. Barbara Yalof 6:51 PM so do you miss it? waN'T IT HOTAS THE BLAZWEAS Barry 6:51 PM Yes, I miss it very much. Barbara Yalof 6:52 PM could not stay in cali? Barry 6:52 PM No. Not on 1 salary and we wanted a good school district with a safe area for the kids. Barbara Yalof 6:52 PM why pa west? Barry 6:53 PM We had lived here before moving to Calif in 1995. Barbara Yalof 6:53 PM gee this could be our interview!!! Barry 6:53 PM I started my graduate work at the Univ. of Pitt here in 1990. Barbara Yalof 6:53 PM ahah! there's the ahah moment! Barry 6:53 PM hahaha. Well, perhaps... not sure how it was an aha moment for me. where in Calif did you go? Barbara Yalof 6:54 PM for me the small ahah of the weekend was opening and reading Spears dissertation. You'll see what I mean when you read it. Went to OC and San Diego Barry 6:54 PM Can't wait. Will be a break from editing the CP. SD is lovely indeed. Barbara Yalof 6:54 PM It caught me, the topic Barry 6:55 PM What do you mean by "caught me?" Barbara Yalof 6:55 PM the job is at Argosy U in Oc I'd have to try to find a job Barry 6:55 PM Yes, you would. Perhaps they would hire you, too. Barbara Yalof 6:55 PM but it is all the housing that is the big one Barry 6:56 PM I understand. Did you figure out how much you could afford at least on one salary and then look around? Barbara Yalof 6:56 PM yea we can't afford a mortgage, so we'd look for a home for 560 ha ha out there oh it was a nice thought Barry 6:57 PM ARe there homes at that price? Barbara Yalof 6:57 PM doubt it. Maybe a one bedroom condo. Not for me. He is satisfied with a small 2 bedroom condo but even those are more Barry 6:57 PM Why not a small condo for you? What about a small condo do you not want? Barbara Yalof 7:01 PM I would like an office, and somewhere to do art. It's the same room, OK. But what if the kids want tovisit? Barry, I am so used to a large house which we don't need anymore Barry 7:02 PM We had to downsize moving here. Barbara Yalof 7:02 PM how samll Barry 7:02 PM So if you don't need it anymore, why stay with it? Our home was 3700sq. ft. Here it is about 2400 I think. Barbara Yalof 7:03 PM hmm... but in OC it would be tiny and lets say i get to teach online, like i envision one day. Barry 7:03 PM http://maps.google.com/maps?um=1&hl=en&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1053&bih=872&q=%221376+OMalley+Way%22+Upland,+CA&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x80c3313df7daa4c5:0x6ec76b2cb0217dfc,1376+Omalley+Way,+Upland,+CA+91786&gl=us&ei=TA0mTsijIaHb0QH36PWyCg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBsQ8gEwAA Click to see the old house Barbara Yalof 7:04 PM oh yea that's nice Barry 7:04 PM Here is our current home: http://maps.google.com/maps?um=1&hl=en&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1053&bih=872&q=%221376+OMalley+Way%22+Upland,+CA&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x80c3313df7daa4c5:0x6ec76b2cb0217dfc,1376+Omalley+Way,+Upland,+CA+91786&gl=us&ei=TA0mTsijIaHb0QH36PWyCg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBsQ8gEwAA Barbara Yalof 7:05 PM that's the same link i believe Barry 7:05 PM http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&xhr=t&q=118+Brookdale+Circle,+McMurray,+PA&cp=34&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1053&bih=872&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x8834ff516c8d8327:0x86e0f325a83d01be,118+Brookdale+Cir,+McMurray,+PA+15317&gl=us&ei=ug0mTrbYI4mr0AGxsJC3Cg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&sqi=2&ved=0CBUQ8gEwAA oops. Sorry. Barbara Yalof 7:06 PM gee.. but its far from the ocean or water wasn't it? Barry 7:06 PM Yes. Barbara Yalof 7:06 PM Barry, let's make this our interview. somehow. This is pretty moving stuff moving..ha ha Barry 7:07 PM Kinda emotional for me. Barbara Yalof 7:07 PM we can change the assignment to ...a time of decision Barry 7:07 PM That makes sense. Barbara Yalof 7:07 PM this is more emotional than the ahah I could code yours, you could code mine Barry 7:08 PM True. But the "aha" came when I realized that I could live in California anymore because it was too expensive. How do we code this? Your text is intertwined with mine. And, how do we find additional data on the topics? Barbara Yalof 7:08 PM cut an d paste? is it a prooper interview? no need to find addiotnal info this is just the interview Barry 7:09 PM Not sure. You have more experience that I in interviewing. Barbara Yalof 7:09 PM like yo were interviewing me about leaving or staying Barry 7:09 PM Thought Dr. Stillman wanted additional info. Maybe I'm mistaken. Barbara Yalof 7:09 PM paradigms i don't have time for additional info Barry 7:10 PM I hear ya there! Barbara Yalof 7:10 PM where's your new home link? i gotta look up mine crreepy Barry 7:10 PM http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&xhr=t&q=118+Brookdale+Circle,+McMurray,+PA&cp=34&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1053&bih=872&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x8834ff516c8d8327:0x86e0f325a83d01be,118+Brookdale+Cir,+McMurray,+PA+15317&gl=us&ei=ug0mTrbYI4mr0AGxsJC3Cg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&sqi=2&ved=0CBUQ8gEwAA type your address into google.com Barbara Yalof 7:13 PM nice you have a nice trail near your house Barry 7:13 PM yes, a lovely trail. Barbara Yalof 7:13 PM its an East house as is mine and golf nearby Barry 7:13 PM That doesn't mean much to me. Don't care whether it's east, north, south or west. gold? Barbara Yalof 7:14 PM golf Barry 7:14 PM Ah. Well, don't play golf but yes, there's a country club nearby. Barbara Yalof 7:14 PM and a china express very important for jewish people Barry 7:14 PM hahaha. Bean Curd is much better. Barbara Yalof 7:15 PM so Barry these are huge decisions. Do I wish I hadn't gone to see OC? People love mainline Phila my husband loves hot hot weather Barry 7:15 PM Are you somehow grieving? Barbara Yalof 7:16 PM Barry, like you, it is hard to face economic realities Barry 7:16 PM That's true. After 7 years here, I still grieve not being in Socal. Barbara Yalof 7:16 PM i hear you but what is it you miss? Barry 7:17 PM I miss the sunshine, the friends. I miss the good jobs I had (that I lucked into). I miss the fun times we had in our home... our brand new home. I miss a full-time salary with benefits and independence, self-reliance. Barbara Yalof 7:18 PM is part of it just getting older, or no? Barry 7:19 PM Well, I'm sure that that's part of it, too. Barbara Yalof 7:19 PM bad question if coded, I am leading you Barry 7:19 PM :) Barbara Yalof 7:19 PM GEEZ I gotta run to the market! It's so late! great talk Barry 7:19 PM ok. Have fun at the market. We'll continue later. Barbara Yalof 7:20 PM all this thinking, and the realities of creating a dinner just hit me. TTYsoon! Barry 7:20 PM TTYsoon.

Barry 7/20/11 8:32 PM OK... The categories (3) are costs, reflection (or self-reflection), and grief. Within self-reflection there is conflict. The overriding element (core-ish?) is an in vivo term you used: "caught me." Now, I've not done memoing but quick notes to myself (which, I guess is kinda memoing!). The point where I'm at now, is trying to find a theory. The best I have so far is that when something causes an emotion ("caught me"), and reflection takes place, the elements of (in this case) cost, conflict, and potential grief arise. But honestly, this sounds so touchy-feely. If my experience with your interview is what Glaser meant when he said that the codes and categories and ideas will come fast and furious, damn! he was right!!